DISCLAIMER: The blog entry you are about to read may lead you to believe that raising children is a breeze, please know that is not the case. They cause you to pour an extra drink at night, cover-up the gray hairs you slowly start to notice, and in some cases, use range in your voice you never knew you had. But really, children are great.
More times than often thoughts of what my journey would of been like without the two children I helped raise enters my heart. Would my wife and myself been able to fill the last 30 years? Would we have survived all of the trials and tribulations that life can throw at each and every one of us? What would of my moral compass been calibrated to if not for wondering what was best for the children? Funny how decisions made nearly 30 years ago shaped my entire being, my entire life really. It’s almost as if the first twenty something years on this planet were in someone else’s body.
Once the decision was made to bring children into this world my thought pattern changed forevermore. Certainly this isn’t the case for all young men and women today, but for me, everything changed. I had to actually be an adult myself. I have said that once you’ve raised children you will not have a selfish bone left in your body. I mean realistically how could you? Once the children have made their way into the equation of one’s life and even to this very day, for me, some 28 years later, I still find each day starting with “what about the children.” Sure, it is not as consuming as it once was yet, still you worry and hope all is well with them and their loved ones.
Not being able to know what or how my life would have turned out without them, I can only imagine how things might of been. One thing I know for a fact is that there is no way, no how I would have stayed so focused and so determined without them constantly on my mind. For that I am truly thankful to the both of them, and now to both of their loved ones.
Being responsible for something so, so delicate can be overwhelming to many. Too challenging for some. Too troublesome for others. For me helping raise our children has been a constant education on life. Playing kid games, driving them to the movies, watching them grasp for adulthood… Every bit of that has been a constant movie of the week in my eyes. Yeah I have made more mistakes than I care to even remember. There is not a “fail safe” brochure for this adventure (I would have paid big money if there was one). Yet through all of those mistakes, through all of the good and bad, I have always been there (with my wife, OF COURSE) and always shall be, as long as this giant floating ball will have me as a guest. It’s the simplest of promises but also the hardest of all to keep.
I am a lucky man, I know that. Had relatively good health, had a darn good time trying to grow up. I have a wife who has always remained by my side for nearly 30 million years now. I have 2 grown children who are also very dear friends of mine. And if I were to stop breathing at this very moment it would be okay, I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, and don’t remember most of it. Wait a minute… If I were to leave this earth today what about the children… See it really never ends.